Don't Go There

Advice is generally free but too often meritless. People dispense it without being invited. I am quite guilty of such behavior. Truly there are many individuals who believe their opinions are too worthwhile not to be shared. Whether concerning some ordinary situation or a profoundly important matter, advice flows from fingers and/or voices without restraint. Certainly advice, even unbidden, can make a difference in a given situation. Frequently, however, it is actually the advice ignored which is the most valuable.

In my lifetime, I've sought advice from many people. While shopping, I am inclined to ask a salesperson or fellow customer about the color or style of a garment. Doing so reveals my own insecurity and slightly paralyzing tendency to avoid decision-making. Why I think that I'll receive useful assistance from strangers is a mystery. I'm much more comfortable posing the same questions to a family member or friend whose opinion I trust.

In restaurants, I'm apt to gently quiz the server about a particular menu item. I figure that such a person is likely to have sampled many of the choices and can offer insight, if not actual advice. This type of inquiry can produce satisfying results. Or not. Generally, I'm a creature of habit who will order the same item repeatedly because I've been pleased with the results in the past. I'm trying to be a bit more serendipitous and accept that, as a result, some of my choices will be made only once.

Decades ago, I received mostly unsolicited advice at a time I was about to make a critical life-altering decision. I listened politely, but promised nothing. The most difficult conversation was with my own daddy who, being thousands of miles away from me, expressed genuine apprehension about my absolute resolve. Not one person, family or friends, thought I knew what I was doing and everyone shared that opinion with me. In this instance, advice was superfluous and dismissed. Thankfully I followed my heart and as a result I have shared this life with my amazing husband and daughter.

Whenever I need advice, I know the best source to seek. Regardless of the topic or even if the same request has been made in the past, I am unconditionally comfortable discussing the matter with my husband. He's an incredibly intelligent, logical thinker whose response will be framed in such a way that I know he's examined the issues and rendered his best judgement. Being who I am, I don't always take his advice, but I unswervingly appreciate and respect it.

On a family vacation to Nova Scotia in 1987, we stayed in Halifax for a few days. During that time, we spoke to the hotel concierge about a particular nearby locale which was touted in several guidebooks. The response was immediate, "Don't go there. It's too touristy. Try other places such as...." We left the hotel soon thereafter and drove to the beautiful beach community anyway. That cold July day at Peggy's Cove has been captured forever in these photographs. Think what we might have missed.



Maybe the advice "Don't go there." is best received and then ignored.