Jacks and Gill

A green mini-van pulled into the adjacent driveway. The family of four emerged as I observed from a discreet distance. Could they be the ones? The neighbors we'd never had in the past whose lives might now intersect with ours. Soon there were two of us standing silently, just watching and wondering who might be exploring next door. Two toddlers, totally blonde, accompanied the adults.

Hesitating no longer, we walked casually to the low wall dividing the properties, and welcomed the foursome to our neighborhood. Perhaps we were a bit overly eager in our description of the location's assets. We definitely tried to sell its positive attributes.

Within a month, the family settled into their new home. Since that momentous day, the parents have told us often that they really thought we'd been hired by the realtor to encourage people to buy the vacant house. Not so. Our efforts were purely selfish. Somehow we knew immediately that we wanted them to make the purchase and we simply did our best to convince them to want us, too.

In October, the two families will have lived side-by-side for five years. It is difficult for us to recall life without our neighbors being so close.

During this period, an inseparable bond has developed between me and the mom next door. She calls me 'Jacks.' I call her 'Gill.' I've grown accustomed to her distinctive English accent. I've learned the nuances of her language and am charmed by every utterance.

I know that my backyard is her 'garden.' I realize that going to the store means the 'shops' for her. I listen as she calls her girls 'dollie' and I suspect that I would say 'darling.' I know that she will 'lay the table' and I will 'set' it. Each difference is embraceable.

Gill is unconditionally selfless. She considers others first and always. Sometimes I think that this fine character trait is associated with her chosen vocation. As a nurse, she's worked in hospitals and clinics in London, Los Angeles and more recently, the desert. For any sick or injured person fortunate enough to encounter her ministrations, healing begins the moment she appears. The gentleness that seeps from her countenance is instantly recognized, even by the most acute patient. She speaks with authority laced with humanity. Her medical knowledge is clearly evident and through years of practice, she can assess even the most dire situation and execute the right course of action.

When Gill was a very new neighbor, we had the occasion to seek her advice. A workman in our house had injured his arm. He was obviously in pain and very frightened. We were unsure whether we should take him to an immediate care facility or the local hospital emergency room. His boss wasn't nearby and the seriousness of the condition could not be easily ascertained. Then we remembered our nearby nurse. Though she didn't know us well and had never met the injured gentleman, Gill handled the dilemma with aplomb. She carefully checked the painful area, pronounced the bones intact, and assuaged the fears of the concerned man.

Seeing Gill in her role as a parent causes me to wish that I'd known her during my own early parenting days. What important lessons I could have learned. She is ever encouraging, utterly calm, always positive and imminently fair as she interacts with her two little girls who share the same birthday yet remain separate, independent spirits.

Gill has the ability to be an integral part of her daughters' lives without smothering them. She inquires into their activities without prying, praises their accomplishments and beams with pride as she watches them grow into lovely little girls. She's taught them the most exquisite manners. Their cute little voices echo with 'please' and 'thank you.' She recognizes and encourages their individuality and never, ever favors one over the other. She's constantly physically demonstrative, giving the girls a sense of peace and belonging.

It is Gill who remembers everyone's special day and assures that cards and gifts are plentiful. She's genuinely appreciative of all kindnesses to her family and seems unable to accept a gesture without responding in a similar manner. Our house is routinely transformed by floral bouquets brought by Gill in recognition of some small favor to her family. She lovingly composes copious notes acknowledging even the most mundane of gifts.

On days when life's stresses seem significant, Gill is still able to retain her ebullient personality. She dispenses limitless cheer and appears to effortlessly alter the ambience surrounding a challenging circumstance. One of her hugs can cure almost anything.

If there were a television show in which outstanding examples of spousal behavior were heralded, Gill could be the star. She is unfailingly supportive of her engaging husband. I marvel at her ability to anticipate his needs and meet them, even, perhaps, before he is aware of them himself. She understands instinctively the meaning of the word 'team' and she applies the concept to her daily life. I see her smile at her man and I know that the love they share is rare and richly refined.

As a nurse, Gill is devoted to her profession. She's a natural teacher who thrives on sharing her wisdom with students or fellow professionals. She has the respect and admiration of the doctors and administrators with whom she works. Her popularity in the workplace is a testament to her indefatigable dedication to the healing arts.

Though I am unquestionably old enough to be Gill's mother, she never behaves as if I am redundant. Instead, she accords me the luxury of her friendship. Gill shares the joys of her day, queries me about mine and reminds me that we are inextricably connected. Sometimes she asks my advice on a topic and I know she's listening intently to my response.

As the years unfold, I'm confident Jacks and Gill will continue to climb life's hills together. I know she'll try to fix whatever ails me and I trust that she'll receive solace from me as well.